Just a quick update to let everyone know that I am doing well.
I got a new port implant on December 21 and had my first chemo on January 3. I have been sick a few times but Esteban and Sebastian have really been very attentive. It is so sweet, they are on alert to help me be as comfortable as possible. Isabel is back in school so she hangs out with me in the evenings. I am so fortunate to have an amazing family that makes this challenge only a small part of our life.
I will be going on Thursdays three weeks on and one week off so will be spending a lot of time at the clinic. I have taken up crochet again and plan to keep my hands and mind busy while I wait. Each session takes hours for tests and mixing the chemo and then the IV. I know it sounds bad but ultimately it comes and goes and life goes on. We are working around it to spend good time together and have as much fun as possible.
I want to thank everyone who sent e-mails and well wishes, I treasure each one.
I am hopeful for the new year and will post when I can to let everyone know that we are well.
Showing posts with label Personal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Personal. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Monday, October 1, 2012
October Breast Cancer Awareness-Get Your Check Ups!
October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. I have breast cancer. I am a private person, but I share my story to raise awareness and to remind about exams and follow ups.
Whew. It is still hard to type out that I have breast cancer. I was first diagnosed when I was 28 years old, I put up a strong fight and won, or I thought I did. In late 2010 I was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer, meaning that breast cancer spread to my liver and bones. I began Chemo right away and after about 15 months of treatments every two weeks, my doctor stopped the sessions to give me a recovery break, that was February 2012. You can read a post here where I share about my situation. I also mention my battle on the About Me page at the top of my blog.
I am still on break from chemo treatments but Doc says it is likely I will have to start again in the next few months, my tests indicate that the cancer may be growing again. I am hoping it can wait til January, but Doc wants to be careful and take a look at my upcoming scans and go from there. The medication I take to keep the cancer from growing is usually effective for breast cancer patients for six months and then the cancer grows again. I have been on the medication for about eight months. Pretty good.
Right now I am in sort of a holding pattern. I have been warned to take care of my back, the cancer in two vertebrae make them very fragile. I take a lot of medication, get regular check ups and try my best to make the most of every day.
I do not want to go on chemo again, but I love my children and husband and want to spend as much time with them as possible, even if I become more sick. A small price as far as I'm concerned. And who knows, a cure or more effective treatment could be right around the corner. I have asked my Doctor about new treatments and she says she thinks some may be on the way next year.
I look better now, here I am with my Dad about a month ago. My break has been great, I've gained 15 pounds and had a wonderful visit from my family that lives far away. It was like a giant injection of love and good will from them. I now feel like I can handle any old ugly chemo they throw at me.
Enough about me. Let's go over a few facts and ways that you can manage your breast cancer risk.
Please read the article from the American Cancer Society Breast Cancer: Early Detection. The article goes over the details for managing risk for different groups.
I found my initial lump in the shower and went to the doctor to have it checked. Self exams are so important for women in their 20s and 30s.
Let's go over the American Cancer Society ages for the check ups you should have if you are generally healthy.
I would rather craft than talk or type about cancer, but I know how important it is to share so other women are reminded to take the best care of themselves.
Please do your exams each year to minimize your risk for breast cancer.
Whew. It is still hard to type out that I have breast cancer. I was first diagnosed when I was 28 years old, I put up a strong fight and won, or I thought I did. In late 2010 I was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer, meaning that breast cancer spread to my liver and bones. I began Chemo right away and after about 15 months of treatments every two weeks, my doctor stopped the sessions to give me a recovery break, that was February 2012. You can read a post here where I share about my situation. I also mention my battle on the About Me page at the top of my blog.
Luci is giving me love when I was resting after having chemo last year.
Right now I am in sort of a holding pattern. I have been warned to take care of my back, the cancer in two vertebrae make them very fragile. I take a lot of medication, get regular check ups and try my best to make the most of every day.
I do not want to go on chemo again, but I love my children and husband and want to spend as much time with them as possible, even if I become more sick. A small price as far as I'm concerned. And who knows, a cure or more effective treatment could be right around the corner. I have asked my Doctor about new treatments and she says she thinks some may be on the way next year.
I look better now, here I am with my Dad about a month ago. My break has been great, I've gained 15 pounds and had a wonderful visit from my family that lives far away. It was like a giant injection of love and good will from them. I now feel like I can handle any old ugly chemo they throw at me.
Enough about me. Let's go over a few facts and ways that you can manage your breast cancer risk.
Breast cancer can be diagnosed and treated early with regular self exams and doctor visits.
Please read the article from the American Cancer Society Breast Cancer: Early Detection. The article goes over the details for managing risk for different groups.
I found my initial lump in the shower and went to the doctor to have it checked. Self exams are so important for women in their 20s and 30s.
Let's go over the American Cancer Society ages for the check ups you should have if you are generally healthy.
- Women age 40 and older should have a mammogram every year and should continue to do so for as long as they are in good health
- Women in their 20s and 30s should have a clinical breast exam (CBE) as part of a periodic (regular) health exam by a health professional preferably every 3 years. Starting at age 40, women should have a CBE by a health professional every year
- Breast self-examination (BSE) is an option for women starting in their 20s. Women should be told about the benefits and limitations of BSE. Women should report any breast changes to their health professional right away.
Please do your exams each year to minimize your risk for breast cancer.
Please also remind the women in your life to get their check ups too.
Have a lovely first day of October.
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Take Care of Yourself! **Warning-Personal**
This blog is about fun but I want to take a moment to discuss my personal medical situation. I know that I have invited strangers or semi strangers into this place, so I thought a warning might help ensure that no one is made uncomfortable. Thanks for your patience.
Yesterday I had a check up at my Oncology clinic. There are a bunch of us that know each other because we all visit the office so much and we chat while we wait. One of the lovely ladies introduced me to her husband and said "she has stage 4." He looked at me with big eyes and said "How much longer do you have?" in a hushed whisper. I couldn't help it. I laughed. The only answer I could give is: "My doctor doesn't believe in that, she doesn't like giving death a goal." He laughed and I can laugh about it now, but in the beginning I really struggled with stage 4.
My confession is that it is my fault that I am so seriously sick. My fault. Really. I had opportunities and an obligation to take care of myself and I did not. I thought I was being brave or tough. I thought I was invincible. I will explain.
I initially had breast cancer in 2002 with a mastectomy and 6 months of chemo. After that I was fine and had the standard check ups for several years. But as recently as late 2007 I was treated for a cancer lesion on my sternum. I went right from a quick in office scan, to biopsy then to radiation treatments. My doctor at the time scheduled appointments for complete scans to verify the cancer was not anywhere else. I did not go. Scans that would likely have shown the beginning of what I am dealing with now. He also gave me a hormone effecting drug to help manage cancer growth that I really struggled with and eventually stopped taking. I did not go back. I was busy. I was sure I was fine. I was an idiot.
In 2010 I gained weight quickly over a few months and my abdomen became swollen, at first I thought I was just overeating. I began having serious pain in my back, right between my shoulder blades. I was struggling to exercise and eventually had to stop. I was taking a ton of Advil with no effect on the pain. I would get light headed and feel like I was going to faint. I was in a new city and did not have a doctor and initially went to an urgent care clinic. The doctor there told me that I needed a primary physician and he recommended one. I made an appointment with that primary care doctor. But one night I was so sick Esteban took me to the emergency room. That was where we found out. The doctor on duty had a scan done. Then he came to tell me that my liver was twice the size it should be because I had what appeared to be large and small cancerous tumors. He let me know that it was very serious and I needed to see an oncologist immediately.
In that first appointment with her, my new Oncologist told me I had stage 4 metastatic breast cancer. That means my original cancer-breast cancer-spread to my liver, two vertebrae and a number of bones. The two vertebrae are dangerous because a fall can cause the bone to crumble and potentially paralyze me. I remember getting angry. At myself, at her, angry at the world. I remember nearly passing out from pain and anger in the office that day. I was going to die and it was my fault.
My doctor was stern with me then, in the beginning. I was a hot mess. After the first 2 or 3 months of chemo I was still in shock. I remember asking her why I wasn't dead yet. She said "I don't know." She got my attention. I said "What?" She said that stage 4 means no cure and that your life is in danger but it does not mean that you will die tomorrow or next month or even next year. She let me know that aggressive treatment could give me time. "But how much time and time doing what?" I asked. She laughed. I had to laugh too. She said that I could decide on what and she would help as much as she could with the time. She is very funny and that helps.
Coming to terms with long term chemotherapy was very hard for me. It was a tough time in 2002 and I remember swearing that I would never go through it again. So hearing that I would have chemo for as long as I needed it was alarming. Luckily it has gotten a bit better since 2002. I had chemo this time for 15 months and am now on a break to recover. The recovery is important because I lost quite a bit of weight and am frail, I need a cane or wheelchair when we go out. But so far the break has been wonderful and I am gaining weight (thanks Chick-Fil-A and M&Ms;). The largest lumps in my liver are now smaller and a few of the smallest ones are gone! I still get regular injections of medication for my bones. Doc says that I can continue the chemo break for several more months as long as the cancer doesn't start growing again. So far so good.
The break has helped me so much, my mind feels more awake and alert. Able to blog even;)
Ultimately I realize the best choice for me is to focus on right now. Appreciating right now has improved my attitude and outlook tremendously. I can better enjoy the time with my family. Crafting and writing this blog have also helped to give me some purpose and routine. I appreciate that I am able to share my thoughts and ideas so openly.
I want to be sure to let everyone know how important it is to follow up and get regular check ups. For cancer, diabetes, that cough, that pain or any other persistent health concern. We have to take care of ourselves and neglect can be a harmful choice.
Thank you for listening. Tomorrow back to fun.
Luci says Hi:
Yesterday I had a check up at my Oncology clinic. There are a bunch of us that know each other because we all visit the office so much and we chat while we wait. One of the lovely ladies introduced me to her husband and said "she has stage 4." He looked at me with big eyes and said "How much longer do you have?" in a hushed whisper. I couldn't help it. I laughed. The only answer I could give is: "My doctor doesn't believe in that, she doesn't like giving death a goal." He laughed and I can laugh about it now, but in the beginning I really struggled with stage 4.
My confession is that it is my fault that I am so seriously sick. My fault. Really. I had opportunities and an obligation to take care of myself and I did not. I thought I was being brave or tough. I thought I was invincible. I will explain.
I initially had breast cancer in 2002 with a mastectomy and 6 months of chemo. After that I was fine and had the standard check ups for several years. But as recently as late 2007 I was treated for a cancer lesion on my sternum. I went right from a quick in office scan, to biopsy then to radiation treatments. My doctor at the time scheduled appointments for complete scans to verify the cancer was not anywhere else. I did not go. Scans that would likely have shown the beginning of what I am dealing with now. He also gave me a hormone effecting drug to help manage cancer growth that I really struggled with and eventually stopped taking. I did not go back. I was busy. I was sure I was fine. I was an idiot.
In 2010 I gained weight quickly over a few months and my abdomen became swollen, at first I thought I was just overeating. I began having serious pain in my back, right between my shoulder blades. I was struggling to exercise and eventually had to stop. I was taking a ton of Advil with no effect on the pain. I would get light headed and feel like I was going to faint. I was in a new city and did not have a doctor and initially went to an urgent care clinic. The doctor there told me that I needed a primary physician and he recommended one. I made an appointment with that primary care doctor. But one night I was so sick Esteban took me to the emergency room. That was where we found out. The doctor on duty had a scan done. Then he came to tell me that my liver was twice the size it should be because I had what appeared to be large and small cancerous tumors. He let me know that it was very serious and I needed to see an oncologist immediately.
In that first appointment with her, my new Oncologist told me I had stage 4 metastatic breast cancer. That means my original cancer-breast cancer-spread to my liver, two vertebrae and a number of bones. The two vertebrae are dangerous because a fall can cause the bone to crumble and potentially paralyze me. I remember getting angry. At myself, at her, angry at the world. I remember nearly passing out from pain and anger in the office that day. I was going to die and it was my fault.
My doctor was stern with me then, in the beginning. I was a hot mess. After the first 2 or 3 months of chemo I was still in shock. I remember asking her why I wasn't dead yet. She said "I don't know." She got my attention. I said "What?" She said that stage 4 means no cure and that your life is in danger but it does not mean that you will die tomorrow or next month or even next year. She let me know that aggressive treatment could give me time. "But how much time and time doing what?" I asked. She laughed. I had to laugh too. She said that I could decide on what and she would help as much as she could with the time. She is very funny and that helps.
Coming to terms with long term chemotherapy was very hard for me. It was a tough time in 2002 and I remember swearing that I would never go through it again. So hearing that I would have chemo for as long as I needed it was alarming. Luckily it has gotten a bit better since 2002. I had chemo this time for 15 months and am now on a break to recover. The recovery is important because I lost quite a bit of weight and am frail, I need a cane or wheelchair when we go out. But so far the break has been wonderful and I am gaining weight (thanks Chick-Fil-A and M&Ms;). The largest lumps in my liver are now smaller and a few of the smallest ones are gone! I still get regular injections of medication for my bones. Doc says that I can continue the chemo break for several more months as long as the cancer doesn't start growing again. So far so good.
The break has helped me so much, my mind feels more awake and alert. Able to blog even;)
Ultimately I realize the best choice for me is to focus on right now. Appreciating right now has improved my attitude and outlook tremendously. I can better enjoy the time with my family. Crafting and writing this blog have also helped to give me some purpose and routine. I appreciate that I am able to share my thoughts and ideas so openly.
I want to be sure to let everyone know how important it is to follow up and get regular check ups. For cancer, diabetes, that cough, that pain or any other persistent health concern. We have to take care of ourselves and neglect can be a harmful choice.
Thank you for listening. Tomorrow back to fun.
Luci says Hi:
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
First Post!
I am so excited to get started. We are going to use this blog to share family photos (my family is so cute, it is practically an emergency), to chronicle our adventures and even just share what we are making/eating/doing right now. I think this writing will be helpful to me and while I know no one may show up, I welcome each and every visitor that does happen by. This will not be a cancer blog. Please do not misunderstand, I am very grateful. That does not mean that cancer will never come up, it just means that my content will be about other things. While I am fighting with every cell (I picture tiny cells with boxing gloves:), I need a place to get away from it all and I am asking for you to join me.
I love to make things. I LOVE it. Sewing, jewelry, embroidery, paper mache, glass etching, crochet, you name it and I want to try it out. I was a Brownie and Girl Scout as a child and back then I liked to make things. But as an adult, because I was always working, I did not know what amazing things people are doing out there with arts and crafts. WOW! I started following sewing blogs about a year ago and will share some of my creations, including what Isabel calls "The ugliest dress I have ever seen." Hey at least I know she will tell me how she really feels. The dress is only the beginning, we will share crafts large and small as well as share about each of us and what we are up to.
I mentioned Isabel, she is my daughter and just turned 13. I will profile her and her brother Sebastian, 19 and my husband Esteban. Esteban is an amazing artist, he works with digital images to create the unexpected. They are a family to be proud of and very funny.
One main character I forgot to mention, and she may be THE main character, is Luci. Luci is, we were told, is a lab and boxer mix. While that sounds possible, she also resembles a smallish great dane or Scooby Doo's girlfriend. We got her at a place in Tucson that rescues puppies from puppy mills. She was three months old when we got her and she was the cutest giant puppy we had ever seen. You will see, she is special and a very important part of our family.
Isabel and I are working on updates this week so stay tuned.
I love to make things. I LOVE it. Sewing, jewelry, embroidery, paper mache, glass etching, crochet, you name it and I want to try it out. I was a Brownie and Girl Scout as a child and back then I liked to make things. But as an adult, because I was always working, I did not know what amazing things people are doing out there with arts and crafts. WOW! I started following sewing blogs about a year ago and will share some of my creations, including what Isabel calls "The ugliest dress I have ever seen." Hey at least I know she will tell me how she really feels. The dress is only the beginning, we will share crafts large and small as well as share about each of us and what we are up to.
I mentioned Isabel, she is my daughter and just turned 13. I will profile her and her brother Sebastian, 19 and my husband Esteban. Esteban is an amazing artist, he works with digital images to create the unexpected. They are a family to be proud of and very funny.
One main character I forgot to mention, and she may be THE main character, is Luci. Luci is, we were told, is a lab and boxer mix. While that sounds possible, she also resembles a smallish great dane or Scooby Doo's girlfriend. We got her at a place in Tucson that rescues puppies from puppy mills. She was three months old when we got her and she was the cutest giant puppy we had ever seen. You will see, she is special and a very important part of our family.
Isabel and I are working on updates this week so stay tuned.
Luci the giant puppy at 3 months old.
Luci still thinks she is little and wants to sit in my lap. Luci is now 3 years old.
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